“I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory…”
It's an interesting whirlwind of emotions, being told that you only have two years at best to live. In that moment, there's a profound numbness that takes over, and the only voice you seem to hear is the one within, repeating over and over again, "this isn't real." But then reality crashes down upon you like a tidal wave, and you're forced to confront the undeniable truth. Suddenly, you find yourself looking back on your life with a mixture of nostalgia and regret, realizing just how quickly time slips through your fingers. All those "should've, could've, and would'ves" start flooding your mind, as you wish with every fiber of your being that things could have been different. But deep down, you understand that there's no second chance in this game of life; no do-overs, no going back in time. This, right here, right now, is all there is. And with that realization comes a newfound clarity, an urgency to make the most of every precious moment that remains. The clock is ticking, and it's up to you to determine how you will spend your remaining breaths. I don’t fear death, for I have arrived at a place where my faith and insatiable curiosity harmoniously intertwine. They form an unyielding shield against the notion that what lies beyond this mortal realm should give rise to fear within me. Amidst life's chaos, I find solace in the fleeting nature of our existence and the grand tapestry of the universe. Embracing each moment with appreciation, I realize our trials and triumphs are mere fragments. Life is a whisper in time, shaping our souls and evolving our consciousness. Our journey is a tiny fragment of a cosmic odyssey. Amidst life's changes, I find peace in growth and acceptance. Embracing impermanence, I navigate time gracefully on this fleeting journey. As I take stock of the past 33 years, my heart, once burdened by self-inflicted wounds, now rediscovers its resilience and strength. It embarks on a path of healing, nourished by the tender embrace of forgiveness. With each passing day, I willingly extend this gift of absolution to others, acknowledging the harms I may have caused and seeking their forgiveness in turn. Yet, amidst these tender moments of vulnerability, I have come to understand that the most arduous battle lies within: the battle to forgive oneself. It is a journey steeped in self-reflection, where redemption and acceptance intertwine. With each act of self-forgiveness, I shed the weight of past mistakes and nurture the seeds of growth within my spirit. In the tapestry of life's triumphs and tribulations, forgiveness shines as a beacon of hope and renewal. It liberates us from the chains of regret, allowing us to embrace the future with open hearts. As I navigate the winding roads ahead, I traverse them with a fortified spirit, ready to face whatever may come, unafraid and resolute in my belief that death is merely a gateway to something beautiful, and that fear has no place in the face of the unknown.
