#35

Hello you beautiful bitch, it’s a wild ride we’re on, isn’t it? Who would’ve thought we’d be here celebrating 35 unbelievable laps around the sun? It's like a Netflix series: just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, Season 35 drops and BOOM, here we are, popcorn in hand, ready for the next episode of your insane life.

Now, let’s talk about these birthday shenanigans. Some folks try to hit the pause button on aging once they cross that notorious 30 threshold. You know, the ones who spend five years continuously claiming to be 27, thinking that maybe if they say it enough, the universe will grant them that sweet, youthful glow. Spoiler alert – it doesn’t work!

But you! Oh, darling, you flaunt your age like a badge of honor. Each birthday adds a new layer of fabulousness, like icing on a ridiculously decadent cake! And let’s be honest, you’re practically a walking celebration! Every year that leaves the building is just another roundhouse kick to the grim reaper’s face. You’ve made it through (insert all those ridiculous life events thus far), and you’re here, sipping Dr. Pepper and flipping that middle finger up high to the God of Death, whispering “Not today!”

So here’s to you—may your year be filled with absurdly epic adventures, snarky laughs, and cake that’s more fabulous than a cat in a top hat. Because you are worth every sugary bite of it! Happy Name Day #35, you glorious legend. 🎉 Now, let’s create some more outrageous memories that would make even the universe raise an eyebrow and say, “Wow, this bitch is wild!”